Keeping kids safer online is less about one perfect setting and more about a few steady habits: age-appropriate limits on devices and apps, privacy settings checked together, regular conversations about what they see and who they talk to, and a clear plan for what to do when something feels wrong. Children do not need to be scared of the internet. They need to know how it works, where the risks are, and that they can tell you about a problem without getting into trouble.
Start with the settings, together
Most phones, tablets, consoles, and streaming services have built-in parental controls worth checking when an account is first created. Set accounts to private, turn off location sharing, and turn on purchase approval so a child cannot buy games or extras without you knowing.
Do the set-up with your child beside you. Our pillar article on how to stay safe online: the habits that actually protect you covers the same basics for adults, and our article on strong passwords and passkeys, explained in plain English explains passwords for children.
Talk about sharing, strangers, and pressure
The conversations matter more than the settings, because settings can be bypassed and new apps appear every year. Talk about what is okay to share — a first name is different from a full name or a home address — and what to do if a stranger asks for photos or a move to a private chat. The rule can be simple: tell a parent first.
Pressure from friends is just as real as pressure from strangers. A common mistake we see is parents focusing only on strangers while the harder situations come from classmates. Agree in advance that your child can blame you as a way out, and make sure they know that telling you about a problem will not mean losing the device.
Routines that make it easier
- Devices charge outside the bedroom: it helps sleep, and it stops late-night messages and scrolling.
- One shared check-in a week: look at new apps and contacts together for five minutes, without turning it into an inspection.
- Age-appropriate rules, revisited: what works at eight will not work at thirteen, so revisit the rules every year or so.
- A plan for problems: who to tell, what to screenshot, and how to block and report a user who is unkind or pushy.
Frame screen time as balance rather than a ban: homework, sleep, and family time come first, and screens fit around them. Our article on how to spot phishing messages before you click is worth reading with older children, and our piece on is public Wi-Fi safe? What to do before you connect covers shared networks.
Key takeaways
- Check privacy and parental controls together when a device or account is first set up.
- Keep accounts private, turn off location sharing, and require approval for purchases.
- Talk about sharing, strangers, and peer pressure — the conversations matter more than the settings.
- Charge devices outside the bedroom and revisit the rules as children grow.
- Make sure your child knows that telling you about a problem will not mean losing the device.
Frequently asked questions
At what age should a child get a phone?
There is no single right age. It depends on why they need one, how they handle responsibility, and what rules your family can keep. A basic phone for calls and messages is a gentler first step than a full smartphone with social apps.
Should I check my child's messages?
For younger children, yes, and openly — tell them you will check, and do it together. For teenagers, agree on boundaries in advance, and step in if you have a concrete reason for concern rather than reading everything by default.
How do I handle a child who has seen something upsetting online?
Stay calm, listen first, and thank them for telling you. Block and report the content, save a screenshot if you need it, and talk about what happened. Avoid reacting by removing the device, or they may not tell you next time.
Are parental control apps worth using?
They can help, especially for younger children, but they work best alongside conversations and the built-in controls on the device. No app can replace a child who knows what to do when something feels wrong.
Keeping kids safer online is a long game. The settings you choose today will need updating next year, and the apps will change, but a child who knows how to spot a problem and feels safe telling you about it is protected in a way no setting can match.
